9 Yukatas, 2 Yukis, and a Yuka

July 30

I spent Saturday morning in my pjs, finishing a book of short stories called Traveling Light: Take a Trip with Ireland’s Top Women Writers. Some of the stories are slight, silly things, some are emotional voyages of self-discovery, and some are heartbreaking accounts of experiences in war-torn or poverty-stricken countries around the world. I bought the book last week to read on the train to Osaka and it’s given me a little more perspective on what I’m doing here and how, despite my valiant efforts, there are some things that are out of my control. I’ve been here a full month now, and I’ve seen and done a lot of things. But there’s a lot more out there.

Saturday night was the yukata (bathrobe) party I mentioned in an earlier post. Yuki came to my little apato in the afternoon to get ready. She brought this great little cake that was kind of like strawberry shortcake but with more fruit in it. While we chatted, I finally got to hear some good gossip about the company. Well, it wasn’t really gossip; it was about people’s real opinions and feelings about co-workers, management, etc instead of the usual polite comments I’ve heard so far. The word “Asshole” was used.

Yuki brought several yukata and I ended up wearing one that she sewed herself! Although I don’t think the yukata is particularly flattering, I admit that the two of us looked quite fetching.


The party was in honor of the Sumida Kawa Hanabi (Sumida River Fireworks) which is the largest fireworks display of the season. For reasons no one could explain, many women wear traditional robes for this event. Although some men also wear yukata, they usually wear jimbei, which are kind of like pajamas. Yuki’s friend, Julia, is an Australian who works as an English teacher for Berlitz. She has an enviable 2BR in Hikifune, a small area of Tokyo that reminds me of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Most of the people at the party were teachers or friends of teachers. Many of them had come over on the JET program
and just stayed. I can’t remember anyone’s names. But I do recall that there were two girls named Yuki and one named Yuka. Who can keep it straight? The people were friendly, the fireworks were bright and noisy, and the Asahi was cold. A great night.









Site of the day: Hasbro set up a live Monopoly game in London using taxis fitted with GPS systems. The first game has ended, but you can register on the site to be alerted when the next one is starting.

Freaky Friday

July 29
Friday was a frustrating day. On Thursday, I joked that I wasn’t sure we were all communicating accurately at a meeting.

I’m supposed to be the point person on a new project. First thing in the morning, one of the senior people told me that there had been a miscommunication about the timing of the project. OK, not a big deal. Later, I had a meeting with one of the AEs whose English is very good. I had her translate the client-supplied briefing document for me and realized that more very important information had been left out of our initial briefing. I also found out that there are other meetings about the project scheduled that I am not invited to because the meetings will be in Japanese. Who’s laughing now?

Usually, before I go to the communication lunch, I use my office map to casually stalk the people that I’m having lunch with so I can see who they are. I didn’t have time on Friday, so when my lunch partners came to get me, I was unpleasantly surprised to find that I was to spend the next hour with two guys who have zero social skills. I’d love to say that they’re really nice, but they’re just weird.

At 6 pm, I told everyone how tired they looked and went home to three loads of laundry and “An American in Paris” on the STAR Channel. Move over, Carrie Bradshaw!

For my Poetic Commenters: Tanka (traditional Japanese poetry consisting in 31 syllables in 5 lines) is not dead! It is thriving in the coffeehouses of Japan and is transmitted via Vodaphone. Write on, young versifiers.

Earthquake!

I missed Saturday's earthquake and Tuesday's typhoon fizzled. But tonight, I can honestly say, the earth moved. I was having dinner in Ginza with a friend I met through one of my clients. He paused in the middle of our conversation, put down his fork (we were having Italian), and said, "Oh, it's an earthquake." Weirdly, my first reaction was, "Really!?!?" as if he'd said, "Oh, you just won the lottery."

It was a very minor quake, but monumental in that it was my first. It was a little like being on a subway train, except I was on the third floor of a 12-storey building. It only lasted a few seconds. The other people in the restaurant sort of glanced around and then kept eating. It was surreal. No reported injuries.

The Aussie was in today for a series of meetings. I was in one of them and it was hilarious. It was basically like a two hour version of PASSWORD. On the one hand, some really great ideas were hatched. On the other hand, I just hope we were all actually discussing the same project. Tough to tell. We really need a translator.

Bad news for those of you who submitted other pirate-themed nicknames for the Aussie, the eye patch is gone and he looks completely normal. Too bad. I think it would have added a little color to the place.

Website of the day: A fellow blogger wrote a song to help people learn Japanese. Here's a site that features a cowboy singin’ the hiragana song. Enjoy!

Yogini Linguini

July 27

Every day I get several emails that keep me updated on what's going on in the ad industry. Today there were two interesting tidbits: the first was about the girl who got lost a job because of the content of her blog; the second is about the racy Burger King website that got so many complaints in the first 24 hours that they had to do some quick edits to remove the sexual inuendo. It always makes me howl when people act like idiots and are then surprised when they catch flack for it. Of course, had I started this blog anonymously, maybe I'd be acting like more of an idiot, too. Who knows?

After work, I went to a yoga class that was the least challenging hour I've ever spent in a gym. I should have known when I noticed that I was surrounded by the cast of Cocoon. Ah, well.

At home, I tried to cook again. Why do I bother? I'm really just a bachelor at heart. I wish I had an Alice, either one from the Brady Bunch or Mel's diner would be fine. I'll bet neither Alice ever tried to cook linguini and frozen veggies in the same pot at the same time. Honestly, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

A New Dawn, A New Day

July 26
Tuesday

When I got up this morning, I decided that I was going to give Japan another shot. The rain was coming down, so for the first time since I’ve been here, I wore jeans to work. I felt like myself and it felt great. When I got to the office, everyone asked about my trip to Kyoto. I told them how great it was and avoided the topic of Osaka all together. I spent the day just organizing my work and personal stuff. There was a rumor (well, it wasn’t really a rumor since I heard it from the president) that the office would close at 4pm due to the typhoon. That made me a little nervous, because these people work like dogs. This typhoon must be serious. Not to worry, though, because 4PM came and went. The rain didn’t seem very threatening and everyone kept their asses planted.

My friend Yuki invited me to a party on Saturday night to watch fireworks at her friend’s apartment. I’m excited to get out and meet some new people. Plus, it’s sort of a theme party. Everyone will be wearing yukata (summer robes). Yuki offered to lend me one of hers. After work, Yuki asked me if I wanted to have a cup of coffee with her. Sure I said, let’s go. We walked down the street, chatting. When we reached our destination I glanced up at the sign: Starbucks. Ladies and gentleman, #6.

Osaka Sucks

July 25
Monday

I slept, defensively, dreaming about aliens and bedbugs. Checkout was at 11 and despite my hatred of the Hotel Kitahachi, my reluctance to explore Osaka was greater. My meeting didn’t start until 5:00 pm. I won’t subject you, gentle readers, to the long version of my rant on this. Suffice to say: 5:00 pm. Really? Come on.

So, by 11:00 am I needed to be dressed in a suit. Sightseeing in 95 degree heat was not on my list. I decided, though, that I would try to visit one place of interest. The Umeda Sky Building was reported to have stunning views of the city and interesting architecture. It was supposedly less than a 10-minute walk from my hotel. I checked my bags with the front desk. Again, with two maps and admittedly dodgy directions from the non-English speaking hotel manager, I set off through the streets of Osaka.

Within 10 minutes, I was fairly certain that I was circling the same area over and over. I made a fretful phone call to my friend, Jo, in New York. Thank god she was home. She listened sympathetically to my tearful rants about Osaka: the heat, the noise, the very bad maps, and the jostling. She agreed with my belief that bicycles should be outlawed and that Japanese toilets certainly were remarkably complicated. Best of all, she agreed that I should, indeed, go into the next Starbucks I saw and camp out as long as I could. She’s a good friend. I begged her to tell me something funny. She had a good story involving a hot neighbor with an electric saw.

So, Starbucks #4. Nothing much to tell. I sat there for about 90 minutes.

My meeting was in another area of town about 20 minutes away. I arrived there about 2 hours before my meeting. As luck would have it, there was Starbucks #5, conveniently situated across from my client’s building. 90 more minutes ticked by. At 4:30, I cleaned up, reapplied my long-gone make up and transferred myself to the lobby of the client’s building.

The meeting, at least, was successful. The clients were new for us so they were friendly, but distant. That I can handle. We made plans for a follow-up meeting, a good sign, and they joked with me that even though I had missed my first earthquake, I would arrive in Tokyo just in time for my first typhoon. Perhaps sensing my delicate emotional state, my colleague, a true gentleman, helped me retrieve my luggage from a coin locker in the station and practically put me on the train home. Back in Tokyo, the rain had started. I made my way, groggily, back to my apartment and into a hot shower. I vowed that I would leave Osaka behind me and start over in the morning.

What Goes Up Must Come Down, Way Down

July 24
Sunday

Sunday morning I was up bright and early for an encore presentation of Jigglevision 2005 in the ofuro. By 8:30 am I was back at the corner Starbucks (#2)studying my tourist maps and planning my day. It really was the only place open so early. Later I would realize that this visit was the second of SIX separate Starbucks visits in three days. Believe me when I tell you that visits three through five were absolutely essential for my mental survival. More on that later.

I bought a daily bus pass that allowed me to crisscross the city with relative ease. The city bus map provided by the ryoken looked complex, but ended up being fairly easy to follow. As usual, I lost my way a couple of times, but figured I figured it out.

First stop was Nijo castle, the official residence of the Tokugawa Shogun Ieyasu. I have no idea who that is, but he was obviously important because the place was huge and has been designated as an “Important Cultural Property.”

I spent about two hours touring the place with a rented headset playing a pre-recorded walking tour. I don’t have any photos from inside the castle because the place is kept very dark in order to preserve the Kano paintings that adorn the walls of every room. No photography and no shoes are allowed inside. Without a doubt, the coolest part of touring the castle was the Uguisi-Bari (Nightingale Floor). The builders created a fool-proof security system through strategic placement of nails under the floorboards that squeak like the sound of birds when even the slightest pressure is put on the.

After touring the castle and grounds, I stopped to get some water and met two Americans. They are a married couple, military, who have lived near Tokyo for two years. They were interesting in their near total lack of interest in the Japanese and their culture. With only an ounce or two of embarrassment, they told me that they rarely leave the base, watch mostly satellite TV, and speak very little Japanese because they don’t have to. However, they did fill me in on an important news story: Saturday’s earthquake in Tokyo. I looked at my watch and knew it was too early to call the folks at home.

After Nijo, I headed over to the Heian Shrine which was a total waste of time. It’s huge and orange and it was in the middle of being set up for some kind of concert. I peeked in, took a few pictures and got out.

After a quick stop in Maruyama Park (and the Yasaka Shrine) to check out a festival featuring Taiko drummers, I headed down to wander through the back streets of Gion. The cobblestone streets have many shops, restaurants, and tea shops. I poked around, bought some omiyage for the peeps at home, and had lunch a little place that looked kind of like a treehouse.


Unfortunately, I had to kiss Kyoto goodbye and head to Osaka. I had a business meeting there scheduled for Monday so I decided to stay there overnight and check out the town. This was a terrible mistake.

I made the 30-minute trip to Osaka by the JR regional train line. It was a fairly easy trip despite the heat and the crowds. The hotel I was booked in was “a 5-minute walk” from Osaka station. Technically, this is true. Unfortunately, the area around Osaka station is an Escher painting come to life. There are four train stations that all have similar sounding names and almost identical entrances and exits. There were mobs of people rushing around. Unlike Tokyo, very few signs were posted in English. I wandered around the area, with bag and baggage, consulting two maps, in 95 degree heat for an hour. I asked for and received directions which only confused me more. Finally, in tears and near collapse, I saw a familiar green and white sign: Starbucks (trip #3). It was inside a mall complex called HEP FIVE. I found it with help from an English-speaking HEP FIVE employee, who would later be instrumental in actually finding my hotel. But at the time, the only words I could get out were: “Starbucks, onegai shimasu?” Once inside, I noticed that there was another foreigner there. I wanted to talk to him, but I had worked myself into such a state of internal hysteria, that I would have definitely bawled my eyes out all over his clean white t-shirt if he had even said hello. One latte and a handful of tissues later, I found the English speaking HEP FIVE guy and he helped me find the hotel. Which, by the way, I never would have found on my own.

The Hotel Kitahachi was a very crappy place that looked clean but had a funny smell. After the hospitality and charm of the ryokan, this place was like motel hell. I hated it on sight. My ill feelings were confirmed when I saw cell #203. It was cramped and gray and made me feel worse. Why had I left lovely Kyoto? I took a quick shower and headed back outside to find some food. I prowled around the HEP FIVE until I found a soba place that looked decent. After dinner, I found the movie theatre in the complex. Unfortunately, the only movies playing were part of the Kansai Queer Film Festival. I wasn’t emotionally stable enough for Japanese queers, so I did some window shopping instead. After a while, I went to another mall complex (there are a seemingly endless number of them. Or are they all the same? I had no idea). This one also had a movie theatre that was playing “War of the Worlds.” I bought myself a ticket and wasted two hours watching aliens destroy Hoboken.

Kyoto or Bust

July 23
Saturday

My first roadtrip out of Tokyo! I started the journey early Saturday morning. My train left Tokyo station at 9:33 on the nose. Tokyo station is only about 15 minutes away from my place, but getting there involves two train transfers and many flights of stairs. Within 8 minutes I was dripping with sweat and vowing to pack lighter next time.

The JR Shinkansen (or “Bullet”) train is the model of Japanese efficiency. It’s a high-speed mag-lev rail system that connects Tokyo to all of the major destinations in Japan. Kyoto is about 2.5 hours from Tokyo. The train was very comfortable and before I knew it, we had arrived.

Everyone warned me that Kyoto would be hotter and more humid than Tokyo. They were right. After a few wrong turns, I eventually found the subway and made my way into central Kyoto. I had a reservation at the Ryokan Matsui, which was “conveniently situated” just two blocks from Shijo-dori (the main street). It actually really was conveniently situated, however, by the time I found it I was ready to collapse from heat exhaustion. (Side note: I can’t believe how much moisture my body has lost over the past three weeks. I literally cannot drink enough water.)


Even thought check-in wasn’t until 4, I was told that I could check my bags at the ryokan (Japanese-style inn). When I got there I was unhappily surprised to find that the place was under construction. There were men working all over the lobby, which was draped with drop cloths and smelled of sawdust and electricity. I couldn’t believe it, but I was too tired and thirsty to even comment on it. The woman at the desk let me use the restroom, stowed my bags and told me to come back at 4.

I wandered through the streets of central Kyoto and found myself in Nishiki market. This is a covered market that has everything from fresh fish and traditional Japanese sweets to skater fashion and tourist tchotchkes. It goes on for blocks and blocks and there were so many things to look at that the time flew by. One of the oddest things I saw was that in the middle of all this very modern commerce, there were small shrine and temple areas set up. I stopped into one that seemed tiny, but actually have a huge area inside with a garden. The woman there was so kind. She offered me some tea while she stamped my journal and painted some wonderful Japanese characters. I think it says: “Paul is Dead.”



I was starving, so I popped into a restaurant that served grilled ungai (eel) over rice. Yum.
After a little more retail damage (see my fabulous new wallet!), it was time to check in.

Ryokan Matsui was transformed. The drop cloths and workers and smells were gone. The lobby was spare and elegant. The manager greeted me and brought me into the lobby relaxation area for “welcome drinks,” a bowl of green tea, made the real way with a whisk, and a little treat that he said was “made from beans.” I was skeptical about the treat, but I tried it anyway. Once I forgave it for not being chocolate and for being “made from beans” I thought it was really good.


I loved my tiny room. It reminded me of a dollhouse. Everything was miniature. The floors were covered with tatami mats so soft they felt like silk. Like many Japanese establishments, I had to remove my shoes upon entering the room. Slippers were provided, but are not to be worn on the delicate tatami mats. The maid then explained the services of the ryokan (she didn’t speak any English, so I just nodded a lot) which included the communal bath on the ground floor. More on that later.


After changing my clothes and freshening up a bit, I went back out to stalk geishas or geiko-san, as they are more often called in Kyoto. I was lucky enough to spot 4 ot 5 of them as they hurried through the streets of Gion, the Geisha district. This area is just a few blocks wide, but has a large number of restaurants, tea rooms, and theaters. I followed one maiko (apprentice geiko) and found that she was going to a theater called Gion Corner. I knew by the number of tour buses outside that this was probably going to be geishas-in-a-box, but I paid the $28 bucks and headed inside.

The program for the evening included a Japanese tea ceremony, two geiko playing the shimasen (kind of like a lute) while two other demonstrated ikebana (flower arrangement). After this, there was a performance of traditional court music, which was atonal and accompanied by a person in a disturbing dragon costume, sort of like Simon Legree from The King and I. Next a puppet show. It was equal parts interesting and mind-numbing.

Finally, the maiko I had stalked came out and performed kyomai (traditional geisha dance). It was very subtle, but charming. Her movements were so slight that she sometimes appeared not to be moving at all. The program explained that the dances were designed to be seen in the very small spaces of traditional tea rooms. The entertainment ended with a kyogen, an ancient comic about servants stealing sake. It was like watching a community theater production of “Waiting for Godot.”

I wanted to get back to the Matsui to try the ofuro (communal bath) before it closed, so I skipped dinner and grabbed a latte from the corner Starbucks instead. (# 1. Foreshadowing, people.) There are hot springs all over Japan, so therefore there are hundreds of onsens (essentially, spas specializing in bathing). Some places actually feature outdoor onsen, but Matsui’s ofuro was safely inside. There were very clear instructions left in the room for the benefit of gaijin like me. The rules, basically, are these: wash yourself in the shower using the shampoo and soap provided before getting into the bath, don’t get any soap in the bath, and don’t stare at the naked people. I’m a seasoned spa-goer, so I wasn’t too intimidated by the prospect of the communal bath experience, especially once I was reassured that this was not a co-ed facility. However, I wasn’t keen on soaking, starkers, next to a bevy of underfed Asian girls. Regardless, armed with my yukata (bathrobe), towel, pjs, and slippers, I headed down to the bath area. It was a delight. The bath area was quiet, clean, and zen-like. The water was fresh and hot. And the Asian girls all had cellulite, too. (Sorry, no photos for obvious reasons.)

Shake, Rattle, and Roll

July 26
Just a short post to let everyone know that I am back in Tokyo safe and sound. I took a trip to Kyoto (great) and Osaka (horrible), so I wasn't here for the earthquake, but I am about to experience the first typhoon of the season.

I'm still catching up on my blog notes for the weekend. Lots of pictures and tales to tell. I hope to have it updated by late tonight.

Multi-culti

July 22

You know people are getting more comfortable with you when they ask you how to say “poop” in your language.

This came up, as you might have guessed, over lunch today. Minori-san, Metal Mouth, and I were eating tuna sashimi served over rice with an over-easy egg. MM was telling us, in Japanese, that her Chihuahua had a spot of tummy trouble this week. Minori-san was translating and got stuck on the p-word. I figured out pretty easily what she was asking me and I considered it for a moment. We have so many colorful ways to express it. Based on my audience, I decided to go with the fail-safe “number 2.”

Anyway.

The Head of Planning, the Management Supervisor, and I went to McCann HQ this afternoon to see a presentation on McCann’s branding company, FutureBrand. There were two women providing simultaneous translation throughout the presentation, which was given in both English and Japanese. I was so fascinated by the ability of these two breathless wisps; both could effortlessly switch back and forth between languages using idioms that make native speakers stumble.

Walking into HQ was like visiting an oxygen bar. Here were the kooky, creative types, the fabulous, nattily dressed ex-pats, and the supercool technophiles. I felt dumpy and old in my uninspired pinstripe suit and longed for one of my rude t-shirts. At least I have a cool haircut.

After the presentation, over drinks served in the McCann “bar,” I stalked every English-speaking person in the room, handing out meishi (business cards) like lotto tickets. I collected six in return (2 Brits, 2 Japanese, and 2 Canadians). All seemed to be candidates for further stalking with potential to introduce me to a social life.

I have to be in Osaka (about 3 hours from Tokyo) on Monday afternoon for a meeting. I decided to take the opportunity to visit Kyoto while I’m in the area. For any of you ever planning on coming to Japan, I cannot give a high enough recommendation to the Tourist Information Center in Tokyo. I went there again this morning and the woman there made my hotel reservations for me in both Kyoto and Osaka. They also gave me a brochure on a walking tour of Kyoto, offered in English, my a little old Japanese man who calls himself “Johnnie Hillwalker.” I smell a great story there.

I’m not taking my computer with me this weekend, so no updates for a few days…

Gambatte Kudasai! (Keep your chin up!)

London Calling

July 21

Again. Something’s happening again. I’m in my apartment, glued to BBC World while London erupts in chaos and panic once again. It’s about 10:38 PM local time; the incidents happened about 2 hours ago. Thankfully, this time it doesn’t seem as serious as the bombings on July 7, but it’s terrible listening to the eyewitnesses who are talking about the burning smells and the panic underground. I’ve heard from New Yorkers that the soldiers in Grand Central have started to hold their rifles at the ready.

Take care, everybody.

PS. It's now about 11:45 PM local time and Tony Blair is having a press conference. He looks almost cheerful.

A Day in the Life

July 20

I’ve gotten myself into a little daily routine during the week. Since it only takes me 5 minutes to get to the office, I can safely sleep until 8AM and look fairly put-together when I arrive at work at 9:30. There’s a coffee shop on the corner called Doutour where I get my morning iced tea (or, in Japanese, aisu ti). I’m the only non-Asian for miles, so the staff has started to recognize me when I walk in. I’m a regular!

Once I get to the office, it takes me a few minutes to set up my stuff, say ohayo gozaimasu to the people around me, and dig into my oatmeal and emails. There’s usually stuff to follow up on, emails to answer, business research to complete. The mornings fly by and then, at exactly 11:45 AM, my “communication lunch” partners come to collect me.

As I’ve said before, lunch is the best part of my day. The food is almost always fabulous and even when the conversation is stilted and uncomfortable, it’s still conversation. I’m enjoying getting to know so many people. As in any office, this one has its cliques. Because these lunches are often assigned, the combinations of people are sometimes strange. I usually ask my lunch companions if they eat lunch together often. Many times, the answer is a shy no. Sometimes the interaction between the other people at the table is more interesting than the conversation.

The afternoons are like a long walk through the desert. The longest stretch is between 2:30 and 5:30 PM. Communications from home trail off as my night-owl friend, Doug, finally goes to bed. The steady drone of the office workerbees and the after effects of a too-large lunch make me snoozy and dazed. So far, there hasn’t been much to keep me in the office past 5:30, but I feel a little guilty leaving so “early” when I know many of them still have hours to go. I’ve been slinking out of the office at around 5:45. Not sneaking, exactly, but just not calling attention to the fact that I’m leaving. A typical phrase before leaving is osakini shitsureishimasu (I’m leaving before you. It’s impolite.)

I was in a meeting with the President and the Head of Planning today and they taught me a new one: otsukare sama. They told me that it’s a good thing to say as you are leaving the office for the night. When I asked what it meant, they said that it translates to “I’m tired. You keep working.” I guffawed. I resolved not to feel guilty anymore, but to do like the locals do: so long suckers!

The good news, though, is that I must be making a breakthrough at work, because I’m finally getting busy. I’m involved in three new business pitches and had a meeting today where I suggested some opportunities to explore between the US and Japan. Despite the fact that people always seem to be in a hurry, things move very slowly here in Japan. I guess this is why the first item they put on my list of things to gain from the experience was “patience.”

By the way, I finally got myself a mobile phone. For a while there, it seemed like I was the only one in Tokyo without one.

Price check: $23 USD to dry clean a 2-piece suit and a pair of pants!

A Retraction

In an earlier post, I said the the Aussie looked like a "Varsity Captain Bligh."

Turns out, Captain Bligh was neither one-eyed, nor a pirate. He was the guy from "Mutiny on the Bounty." Hmmm. So, I tried to find another famous, one-eyed pirate other than Hook (because the Aussie doesn't have a hook). This is why I love the internet: when I googled "famous one-eyed pirates" I actually found a list! However, I was foiled again because there are apparently no really famous one-eyed male pirates. There's a female pirate who lost an eye. And there's this one guy from Persia, but no one's ever heard of him.

If anyone has any suggestions, let me know.

Omikuji (Fortune)

July 18

Today was a holiday in Japan so the office was closed. [According to Lumay: Third monday of July, Ocean Day (umi no hi): A recently introduced national holiday to celebrate the ocean. The day marks the return of Emperor Meiji from a boat trip to Hokkaido in 1876.] Even though the weather forecast called for rain (again!), it was bright, sunny, and jungle hot all day. I decided to check out Asakusa, Tokyo’s “old downtown.”

This is an area that maintains some of the flavor of old Edo (Tokyo’s original name). There are still many old-fashioned one- and two-storey houses, old women in kimonos, and shrines galore. Of course, this place also attracts many tourists who come to the main temple, Sensoji, to absorb the good-luck incense and buy omiyage (souvenir gifts) for the folks at home.

It only took about 20 minutes on the subway to reach Asakusa. Once again I was struck by how super-efficient the subway system is here. Even on weekends and holidays, the trains run frequently and are insanely clean. My first stop was the tourist info center to get a reliable street map. There was a very friendly, English-speaking volunteer behind the counter. When I asked for the map he said, “Of course, here it is. Now, what you want to do is…” and proceeded to give me an itinerary for the whole day. Who am I to argue with that? [By the way, the only Japanese word I said to him was “arigato” (thanks). To which he immediately replied, “You understand Japanese so well!” Tatema’e, perhaps?

I made my way into the main area of Asakusa via the Nakamise-Dori. There were many rickshaws for hire, offering tours to 1000 yen. I passed. I just can’t imagine making someone haul my big behind all over old Edo in the heat.

After passing through the Kaminarimon Gate, marked with a big red lantern, I found myself on a promenade lined with open-air shops selling everything from rice confections and kimonos to water guns and fake mustaches. I flat out broke the no eating on the street rule when I bought a small bag of delicious peanut-y treats. Mental note to come back and stock up on omiyage before I head home to the US.

The main attraction here is the Sensoji temple. Visitors can make offerings, burn incense, and visit the omikuji (fortune)stations located throughout the temple’s main area. Here’s how it works: you deposit 100 yen (about $1 USD), then shake a container full of bamboo sticks until one falls out of the single hole at the top of the container. Each stick has a Japanese character on it., and you take the corresponding fortune out of a drawer from a cabinet that looks like an old card-catalogue. Of course, I couldn’t find the drawer with the matching character, so a woman behind me kindly pointed it out. My omikuji was this:

“No. 74: BAD FORTUNE. Your request will not be granted. The sick patient is hopeless. The lost article will not be found. The person you wait for will not come. Building a new house and removal are both bad. Marriage of any kind, to start and trip and new employment are all bad.”

Buzz kill. I wondered if I could fish out my dollar. But, not one to tempt fate, I went to the incense stand, paid another 100 yen and threw some burning incense into the huge metal cauldron. I waved some of the incense toward me and wandered off to see the “five-storied pagoda.” According to the guidebooks this is not an ancient structure, it was built in the 70s.

I spent another hour weaving through the shops and side streets and finally stopped for a late lunch of ramen (Chinese noodles). The man at the info counter recommended that I take the water bus back out of Asakusa. It runs down the Sumida river under 12 bridges. There was a tour offered in Japanese and English. Although I think we were short-changed on the English version. The guide would talk for five minutes straight in Japanese then, in English, “This is where the expressways merge” or “Here’s another bridge.” The views weren’t anything special. It didn’t matter though, there was a breeze on the water and the sun was shining. Not a bad way to travel in my opinion.

I got off the boat and tried, foolishly, to walk home. I don’t know if I’ve already mentioned this, but I get lost a lot in Tokyo. Those who have driven with me to client meetings back home know that I’m no good at all with directions in my native tongue, so I’m a disaster in Nihongo. Finally, two good Samaritans pointed me to a train station and I was delivered safely home.

Just lucky I guess.

Party of One

July 17

It’s official. I’ve starting talking to myself. In public.

I’ll admit something here. I’ve always been prone to having long conversations with myself when I’m alone. I almost always have a running monologue going through my head, but I can usually manage to stop it from tumbling out in public. Until today.

I was walking down the street in Harajuku (more on that later) when I saw a man looking strangely at me. I realized I had been talking out loud. I don’t even remember what I was saying, probably commenting on the scene. I can only imagine that this is happening because I’m not used to spending so much time alone. Even though I’m surrounded by people at the office all day during the week, I don’t have many conversations, except during lunch or the occasional meeting. On weekends, I only speak a few times a day, in restaurants and shops, a few words here and there. The first two Mondays I was here, I was losing my voice. I thought maybe it was nerves, but now I think it was lack of use.

I thought about it a lot today. People actually spend money to go away on spiritual retreats where they eat vegan meals and have periods of silent reflection. I always thought that sounded scary. All that time alone in your own head. Who would want to do that? It’s like Being John Malkovich up there. But, here I am getting my chance at silent reflection whether I want it or not. I just hope I can shut up long enough to experience it.

Harajuku was bustling and energized. It’s a very trendy and young shopping area teeming with tourists and teenagers. The famous “Harajuku girls,” mostly disenfranchised teenagers wearing outrageous outfits, were out in full force.

We have a lot of strange-looking people in NYC, so there costumes weren’t so shocking. But I just couldn’t believe the amount of clothes they were wearing. It was so hot today that I actually considered getting myself a sweat towel (see “World’s Greatest T-Shirt, #3). Instead, I bought myself a cool new pair of pumas.

A Dark Mood

July 16

Last Thursday morning, around 9:30 AM, a building collapsed in my New York neighborhood. No one was killed, but 5 people were injured and it was a terrifying way to kick off the morning for everyone involved. My friend and roommate, Joanna, sent me an email from her Crackberry (TM, Annie B.) at around 10:30 AM (11:30 PM, my time). It was so weird. Looking at the pictures of the demolished building on my computer, while also watching the continuing coverage of the London and Iraq suicide bombings, I felt sick. The London bombings didn’t seem to be a big topic of conversation here. Then again, how would I know? I brought it up at lunch one day and everyone was as shocked and appalled as I was. They also told me that the Tsukiji subway, near the office, was one of the ones involved during the Tokyo subway terror attacks in 1995.

A very dark mood, indeed.

A Dark Mood

July 16

Last Thursday morning, around 9:30 AM, a building collapsed in my New York neighborhood. No one was killed, but 5 people were injured and it was a terrifying way to kick off the morning for everyone involved. My friend and roommate, Joanna, sent me an email from her Crackberry (TM, Annie B.) at around 10:30 AM (11:30 PM, my time). It was so weird. Looking at the pictures of the demolished building on my computer, while also watching the continuing coverage of the London and Iraq suicide bombings, I felt sick. The London bombings didn’t seem to be a big topic of conversation here. Then again, how would I know? I brought it up at lunch one day and everyone was as shocked and appalled as I was. They also told me that the Tsukiji subway, near the office, was one of the ones involved during the Tokyo subway terror attacks in 1995.

A very dark mood, indeed.

Breakfast at Tsukiji’s

July 16

I work in Tsukiji (skee-jee), a commercial area known for having the freshest fish in Tokyo. That’s because the Tsukiji Fish Market is the biggest and best in the country and is on the must-see list for tourists. The only problem is you have to get up at the crack to see any action.

I admit I almost bagged it this morning. But, I was determined to make it happen this weekend, if only to be able to tell everyone at work, that yes, I HAVE been to the famous fish market. So, I was up with the birds and strolling through the stalls of fish at 7:00 am. I got there too late for the auctions; they start at 5AM, when the fishermen bring the catches of the day in from the sea. Apparently tourists were recently banned from going to the big tuna auctions anyway, due to bad behavior. Imagine that.

The market is huge and there are hundreds of vendors selling fish, meats, vegetables, flowers, and other wares. Amazingly, it doesn’t smell like fish at all. I guess that’s because the fish are so fresh that they don’t have time to develop BO. The other interesting thing is the number of restaurants in the area that are open and doing a brisk business at that hour. I found myself a little place that had an open seat near the door and ordered a few pieces of sushi. The people on either side of me were drinking beer. It was 8:00 AM.

After breakfast, I headed over to the Tourist Information Center in Yurakucho and got a shopping bag full of brochures for about 10 different towns in Japan. I want to plan out a few side trips so that I can see as much of the country as I can while I’m here. The ladies there were great. I was there when they opened at 9:00 so I had the full attention of four of the employees there. By the time I left at 9:45, there was a line out the door. The TIC is a great resource. They have all the info you need, in English, and will even make hotel reservations as long as you go in person. Since using the phone still gives me night terrors, I’m going to map out my trips then go back and have the ladies make the some calls for me.

On the domestic front, the sheets and towels provided by my building are, to put it kindly, substandard. My mother sent me here with a fabulous set of hot pink sheets, but I really needed a second set. I found what I needed in the shopping Mecca of Shinjiku. Tokyu Hands is a 7-floor store that is similar to Bed, Bath, & Beyond. (By the way, “Tokyu” is not a typo. The name of the gym is spelled that way too. Don’t know why.)

Kinokuniya Books, a 5-floor bookstore, is in the same building as TH. I stopped in there to pick up a few English-language magazines and the latest Harry Potter. I’ve been watching the coverage of kids all over the world camping out for the book. There were stacks of them here.

The book won’t be translated in Japanese for another year. Darn. My Professor McGonagall costume went unappreciated.

Say It To My Face

July 15

It is hot. Hot and humid. Today was the first day that has been really uncomfortable since I’ve been here. At least there was a hint of a breeze today. The Management Supervisor told me that he thinks that this is the end of the rainy season. I was momentarily heartened until he said, “Now, it will just get hotter. With no wind.” I’ve spent the rest of the day congratulating myself on the skillful way I timed this trip. July: rainy season; August: hot, mid-summer season; September: MONSOON season.

The Japanese are very diplomatic people as evidenced by their custom of tatema’e (diplomatic speech). For example, everyone I meet makes a point to say, “Colleen-san, your Japanese is so good!” when clearly, such is not the case. The opposite of tatema’e is hon’ne (one’s true feelings). Don’t believe me? Click here.

Real world example: yesterday the office was particularly hot. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Japanese women seem never to show their arms, no matter how hot it gets (see “World’s Greatest T-Shirt" #5). Well, yesterday, this one woman, who happens to weigh about 98 lbs., was wearing a black, long-sleeve turtleneck sweater. I had taken my jacket off and was wearing a sleeveless silk top. I passed her in the hall and this was the exchange:

SKINNY, tatema’e: Colleen-san, samui desu ka? (Aren’t you cold?)
[SKINNY, hon’ne: Colleen-san, please cover up those flabby arms!]

ME, tatema’e: Oh, ii e. Atsui desu ka? (No. Aren’t you hot in here ?)
[ME, hon’ne: Are you f-ing crazy? It’s July, it’s 94 degrees in here and you’re wearing a turtleneck? And another thing, eat something!]

On a happier note, I’ve finally found a friend at work. Her name is Yuki and she’s a delight. She speaks excellent English (thanks to a few years of living in various English-speaking countries) and is bright and funny. I am also forever indebted to her because she found a new gym for me.

The “TokyuOasis” is fabulous and only a 10-minute walk from my apartment. We did a quick tour of it last night and I went back tonight for a trial workout, unfortunately not free. Yuki and I also went to dinner last night. I miss my girlfriends back home, so I’m thrilled to have someone to hang out with.

More Welcome Drinks

July 13

LATER:
Did I forget to mention that the Aussie arrived wearing an eye patch? It was the result of a horrifying, but completely recoverable, accident. I won’t go into details because, frankly, it’s something I’d rather forget. Nevertheless, he looks a little like a Varsity Captain Bligh. The Japanese were mortified; they didn’t know where to look. Most of them didn’t understand that the injury is temporary. They thought he always looked like that.

He’s got a great personality so he’s already winning them over, though. We had “welcome drinks” for him at the hotel across the street. (See photo of me with the 4 presidents.)

There was so much food, I felt like Oliver Twist. I had a mad urge to start stuffing my pockets with sashimi and shabu-shabu. One of the rituals that the Japanese still observe is that no one drinks or eats before the most senior person in the room. So we had to wait until all three presidents, the Aussie, and the big wig made speeches. Everyone looked a little faint. They asked me to say a few words, too, but I kept it brief because visions of unagi and maguro were dancing in my head. After an appropriate amount of eating and mingling, the higher-ups started to leave. But, like most office parties, there’s always a group of people who stay the longest and drink the most. The Aussie found us (I was among them, of course) and pulled up a chair. He was a big hit. He’s already started giving people nicknames, which they think is hilarious. He calls Billy Joel the CEO (Chief Entertainment Officer); Miki is the CCO (Chief Cocktail Officer) and this other guy is the CFO (Chief Fun Officer). The "CFO" is one of the shyest men I’ve met here. He looks a little like an Asian “Where’s Waldo?” (see photo in blog “I Drank Beer”).

We all had a great time. I feel like I’ve broken the ice with a lot of people, even though conversations are still difficult. By the way, for those of you who gave me “talking points” on baseball: It seemed and felt ridiculous to go through it, but I got a big laugh when I said that the Mets’ Kaz Matsui was “All hype. No hit.” (Thanks, Dan Hassan!) Somehow, this segued to a discussion of old professional wrestlers “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Superfly Snooka (Su-nu-ka!), Hulk Hogan, and Jesse Ventura.

Selfishly, I’m glad the Aussie is coming because I think he will make my life at work more productive. Right now, they don’t quite know what to do with me, so I spend a lot of time alone working on presentations. I think there’s a lot more I can do to contribute to this business, but the language barrier has been prohibitive. Since the Aussie speaks no Japanese, I think they will either have to bring in a translator, or the poor AE will get promoted to CTO (Chief Translation Officer).

The Times They Are A-Changin’

July 13

Today is a big day in the office here. There was a big meeting to announce the “retirement” of the group president here and his replacement by a non-Japanese-speaking Australian! I had heard about this last week and thought it was well known within the company, but that was not the case. Right before the meeting, the translator AE said that there were many rumors about what the meeting was for. He realized I knew something and asked, “Who’s getting fired?” I didn’t have the heart to tell him.

Both the new president and the head of the worldwide company came and gave presentations to the company. They are both sales guys who pepper their speech with Who Moved My Cheese-isms like “feed the eagle” and “paradigm shift.” Unfortunately, most of their rib-ticklers were lost on the Japanese who sat in stony silence throughout the 90-minute program. The translator AE was, of course, called on to translate the presentations. The poor kid was as white as a sheet. Afterward, I congratulated him on his skills. He looked at his shoes and said, “That shouldn’t have been me.”

To clarify, I think this is actually a great thing for this company. The new guy is smart and accomplished and has loads of experience in Asia. He seems like a good guy; funny and direct. Japan is a tough market, but it’s changing and the company needs to change with it. Also, the global organization is becoming stronger and more, well, global. It’s just hard watching these people struggle with the uncertainty of how this is going to affect their jobs and their lives. I have no idea how or if the other key managers will be affected. We’ll wait and see.

On the upside, there’s another “Welcome Drinks” party tonight. This time it’s at a hotel! Woo Hoo!! I’m going to try and take more pictures and update later.

Awards for Funniest Blog Name

For those of you who haven't figured out how to add comments to the blog, Blogger does require you to register on blogger.com (free) and, essentially, create your own blog. You don't have to write anything in it, but it just has to be there.

Today, while perusing through the comments on this blog, I cracked up more than once at the creative names people chose for their blogs. My favorites so far: "Asgard" and "Strange Parents and Too Many." You know who you are.

Get creative people. Prizes will be given to anyone who makes me laugh.

Chikan!!!

July 11

Well, friends. I feel that I am officially a Tokyo-ite. I met my first Chikan (groper) today! I was on the second leg of my 90-minute round trip to the gym, when I noticed a pale, skinny guy looking at me. He was walking my way, but the street was well-lit, it was early, and there were lots of people around, so I didn’t think much of it. A few blocks later, he tapped me on the shoulder and asked me a question but I couldn’t understand him. Finally, he pulled out his cell phone and asked, “Do you have a phone?” I shook my head and that’s when he made his move. He leered at me and moved in close. Luckily, I had a well-placed elbow and a system full of raging endorphins. I shoved past him and started speed-walking down the street.

He didn’t follow me, so all was fine. But I was weirdly energized by the encounter. I immediately started re-writing it in my mind: He was tall, no really tall. And skinny. With a huge head. In fact, he looked like Jack Skellington from A Nightmare Before Christmas.
I built up the drama: I knew it the minute I saw him. He had yellow eyes! Luckily, I had my bottle of Suntory Mineral Water to use as a shiv.

I was walking fast and I felt strong and powerful. Then I started to wonder why I was feeling so elated after (almost) being groped by a stranger. I realized it was because it was comforting to know that, in this environment of overly considerate, kind, and caring people, there was a Japanese person out there who was impolite. Who was, in fact, an asshole. Since I’ve been here, everyone has been so nice, but I’ve felt like a bull in a china shop. I started to feel stupid. My chikan wasn’t a creepy character out of a Tim Burton film; just a pervy little dude looking to cop a feel.

Still a good story, though.

World's Greatest T-Shirt

July 10

Sunday morning and I decided to go to the gym and then on to Roppongi in the afternoon. Not much to report except that I bought yet another book that I hope will help me communicate with my Japanese hosts: The Original “Point and Speak” Phrasebook. Joyce gave me a similar, pocket-sized version called “Point It!” before I left. Oh, how we laughed. This book, while childish and embarrassing, may actually be very helpful. But, is it just me or does the pointing character look disturbingly like the Zoloft blob? (see attached).



I thought I’d take this space to note a few of my other observations so far about Japan and its native people.

1. They don’t eat or drink while walking in the street or on the subway trains or platforms.
2. They don’t seem to jaywalk. There may not be a car for miles and they’ll stand there until that “walk” sign lights up.
3. Two words: sweat towel. Most of them have one.
4. As previously noted, many of the women here wear dangerously high heeled shoes. It should also be noted that they often wear shoes that appear to be a half size too small. I’ve noticed that some women, otherwise teeny, tiny, miniature humans, have swollen feet spilling out of too-tight shoes. (Kurt, add this to your list of head-scratchers about the shoe issue).
5. Air conditioning: it’s the bare minimum. Usually in the office environment, the AC makes it uncomfortably cold. Not so much here. I am never cold in the office; sometimes I’m hot. Despite this, most of the women in my office walk around with sweaters and long-sleeve shirts on all day, indoors and out. However, contrary to some beliefs, they do wear open-toe shoes and few wear pantyhose.
6. I’ve seen a lot of people wearing “message” t-shirts in English. Some of them of hilarious including:
* Most Wonted
* Bitter Sweet Lollipop
* Fuck Milk Got Pot (I’ve seen this one in the US, but it was funny because it was on a girl who was being interviewed on the local news.)
* This is What the World’s Greatest Dad Looks Like (Again, commonplace in the US, but this one was on a very stylish young woman walking hand-in-hand with her boyfriend.)

Ueno

July 9
3PM

I’m in Ueno in the northern part of Tokyo. There’s a huge park here where there are lots of shrines and a famous zoo. As I write this entry, I’m sitting in a fast-food noodle shop. After wandering around for about 20 minutes, and two failed attempts, I was able to communicate with the girl in this shop to help me order my lunch. Many of the fast food shops here have ticket machines, sort of like the automats in New York in the 50’s. You figure out what you want, buy a ticket from the vending machine, and then hand it over to the waitress. In general, it’s very easy to pay for meals here. There’s no tipping, and even if you are with a large party, they give everyone separate checks (bettsu bettsu ni).

When I got to Ueno I headed straight into Ueno Park. I knew it from my Japanese lessons: “Ueno Ko-en wa doko desu ka?” (Where is Ueno Park?) It’s a lot like Central Park in NYC, only with more crows and wild cats roaming around. Read about crows here I stopped at the first shrine I came to and took a look around. It was the first of many I visited, but I somehow managed to miss the really famous one, Toshogu.


It was at this first shrine that I met Hideka-san (see picture, he’s the one talking softly and carrying a big stick).

When he first approached me, I thought he was sort of a volunteer tour guide. Turns out, he was a homeless person who loves to talk to people. His English was fantastic and he had lots of opinions on current events and the state of affairs in Japan. We talked for 20 minutes and he gave me advice about where to go while I’m in Japan and how to manage the language barrier: “You have to have a patter. Maybe baseball. Learn something to say about baseball.”

Getting back to the shrine: it was very peaceful and quiet. There were swarms of tourists there, but no gaijin. I tried to have my journal stamped at the shrine, but for some reason they wouldn’t do it. Later, I visited the Shitamachi Museum and got a stamp there.

After lunch, I walked around the lotus pond. Lovely (see photo).


I did a whirlwind tour of the Ueno Park Zoo to see the Giant Pandas before the park closed and the rains came. I just made it. Ling Ling and Shuan Shuan were chilling out in their indoor environment, which was really dark. Most of my pictures are too dark to post, but thanks to Doug for doctoring up this one of Shuan Shuan.


LATER:
One last story: I headed out to find a place to eat dinner and found a great sushi restaurant in my neighborhood that looked very upscale. I figured I’d splurge a little because it was bright and welcoming and the people inside looked happy. It was a great decision. The place had an English menu and everyone was really friendly. The couple sitting next to me chatted with me the whole time I was there (by “chatted”, of course I mean gestured and used random vocab words). They kept making comments about my eyebrows. Not sure what they were saying. What’s the Japanese word for straggly? I thought I was going to spend about $30 USD, but when I paid the check it was less than $6! I think maybe when I ordered my meal, I must have pointed to a huge platter of sushi (which was priced at about $12 USD) and the chef just corrected the order. Either that or I ripped off those nice people! Well, it all comes back around.

By the way, for more blog fun check out this guy’s blog. He’s a travel writer for Lonely Planet (and a friend of my friend, Josh) and he’s taking the train across Siberia this summer. It’s funny and fascinating stuff:
Robert's Blog
http://lonelyplanet.mytripjournal.com/GIW/WebObjects/MyTripJournal.woa/1/wo/ftVteFQonmdkm2WtVNlVTg/7.3.0.18.1.0.0

Thanks for Posting Comments!

Just a quick post to say thanks to all who posted comments. I just discovered them today! I encourage everyone to comment to their heart's content.

Please, no perverts.

T.G.I.F. (The Gym Is Far)

July 8

Minori-san told me yesterday that she found a gym that is inexpensive and convenient. One of the ladies in the finance department is a member and offered to walk me there after work today.

We left the office around 5:30 with another guy whose name I can’t remember. The finance lady is little, but noisy, with a mouth full of metal. Her English isn’t very good, which actually worked to my advantage for most of our FORTY-FIVE minute walk to the gym. I didn’t realize the gym was so far, so I was still wearing the shoes I’d worn to the office. I didn’t complain, though, because she was wearing 3-inch heels and a dress. It became a test of wills, in my view. Metal Mouth and what’s-his-name were speed walking about 2 paces ahead of me, occasionally glancing back to say, “Colleen-san OK?” I heard MM say “yukkuri” (slow). I tried to catch up. By the time we got to the gym, it was getting dark, I was sweaty and fairly certain we had gone over a bridge at one point. Were we still in Tokyo?

The gym seems to be in a local community center. I say “seems” because I never really figured out where we were and MM wasn’t able to tell me. I felt like a lamb going to slaughter. She helped me buy a pre-paid membership card, which turned out to be just one of three cards needed to gain entrance to the gym training area. To get to the locker room, we had to take off our shoes and put on slippers. I hated putting my gross, sweaty feet into a pair of slippers that undoubtedly recently had someone else’s gross, sweaty feet in them. The Lamisil fungus monster flashed through my mind, but when in Rome…

MM wasn’t going to work out so she left me alone in the locker room to change. I was relieved because being naked at the gym is hard enough. Being naked at the gym in front of the lady from finance is putting salt in the wound. Before I was allowed to work out, I had to go through an orientation which included three questionnaires, a blood pressure test, a demonstration of their security lockers, and two separate computer log-in procedures. (That’s when I got my two other membership cards.) There are so many rules and regs, I’ll never remember them all. Then I’ll be scolded by the health club efficiency officers and probably have my membership revoked.

Finally, I was allowed to get onto a treadmill and MM left me to my own devices. I felt momentarily guilty for all the mean and nasty thoughts I had about her. After all, she had gone out of her way to walk me to the gym and stayed with me through the whole orientation. Then I realized the AC wasn’t working in the gym and I thought, “Fuck her.”

Wanted: OPI Red

July 7


Today dragged on and on. I had a completely open schedule, except for my daily “communication lunch.” I should have been diligently working on my presentations, but all I wanted to do was nap. I can’t wait for the weekend.

Lunch was fabulous, though. Two AEs (the karaoke lover/Billy Joel impersonator and a lovely girl who speaks English pretty well) took me to a place that specializes in unagi (eel). It was the first tatami-style restaurant I’ve visited which means we took off our shoes and sat on the floor. Tatami is a type of traditional Japanese floor covering that is made of straw and is very delicate. Of course I chose last night to take off my slightly peeling toe nail polish. My feet look like two medium-rare pork chops.

The food was delicious (which I mentioned over and over…these people probably think I’m some kind of food fetishist) and actually the most I’ve eaten in one sitting since I got here. The Japanese eat like birds! The eel was served in a square box, hot, over steamed rice. I ate too much and afterward I felt sick. But at least I wasn’t hungry!

By the end of the meal my feet and legs were killing me. Billy Joel taught me how to say, “correct way of sitting.” (seza). I taught them how to say “pin and needles.”

UPS update: my packages arrived! However, my unadulterated joy was hampered by the news of the terrorist attacks in London. I’ve been glued to the tv for hours.

Like School in the Summer

July 6



The big event for the day was my first Japanese class here in Tokyo. Minori-san found a local class offered FREE for beginners who live in the neighborhood. She walked me there after work to make sure I wouldn’t get lost (I would have). On the way, she said, “Colleen-san look so tired.” So much for my youthful glow.

There were many of us in class, but also many teachers. I had a one-on-one lesson with a 47-year old woman named Ikeda. Ikeda-san didn’t speak any English at all, so our two hour lesson was more like a really long and boring game of charades. I have a new found sense of empathy for illiterate people. The head teacher gave me a workbook so I could practice hiragana and katakana. It cost 200 yen (about $2.00). I felt ridiculous. Ikeda-san ended up being really sweet and we decided to continue to work together over the next few months. We even made a plan to meet for dinner in the neighborhood one night. I think our conversation will probably revolve around how delicious everything tastes, which is the only thing I know how to say, but it will be nice to socialize with someone.


UPS update… apparently my packages are riding around Tokyo in the back of a truck. Minori-san helped me by calling the manager of my building. He promised to sign for the packages if they ever arrive.

Biiru-o nomimashita. (I Drank Beer).

July 5, 2005
Today flew by—meetings and presentations all day. Japanese meetings are shockingly efficient. Evereyone is on time and on task. Very different from meetings in the Monkeyhouse on 27th street (holler back, yo!)

I had to give a presentation today to about 20 people about my company, RCW. Because I had to pause after every 2 sentences for translation, I relaxed a little. Afterward, I played a cute video showing all of us at RCW over the last year (from our holiday slide show, thanks Matthew, Eugene, and the Davids!) It’s a bunch of photos of us acting insane (as usual) interspersed with our creative work. The Starship song “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” plays in the background. It’s an old song, but the sentiment is right and the Japanese loved it.

After the presentation, we had “welcome drinks” in the conference room. It was awkward at first, but once everyone had 2 beers, all the fun started. It turns out that they are all whackos here, too. I’m able to bond with many of them because many of them have little dogs (inu). When I asked to see pictures, they whipped out their mobile phones and started arguing over who has the cutest pup. (Clearly, Delilah and I win.) Even the President was in on the action. He has a poodle named Juri.




After many drinks, they started teaching me the local slang; nothing off-color (yet) but, it made me feel like they were starting to accept me. The two top guys told me to say, “majii??” Which means, “Really???” in very teenage slang. Every time I said it, they cracked up. I guess it’s like “hip hop” style speak in Japan. From a gaijin (non-Japanese) it’s hilarious stuff.



The Japanese are big drinkers. I didn’t want to get drunk, so I kept “losing” my drink. If you have a drink in front of you, they will keep filling it up, like when the waiter in a posh restaurant tops off your water glass. I really wanted to see how they act a party. In a word, NUTS. Another word: DRUNKS.

Just when one of the AEs started on his Billy Joel repertoire, the party was declared over (at exactly 10 PM). I was barely awake at that point because I am not caught up on my sleep yet. They said goodbye with promises/threats of a karaoke outing in the near future. I’d better brush up on my Gloria Gaynor!

Getsu-Yobi, Getsu-Yobi (Monday, Monday)

July 4, 2005
9:10 AM

First day at work. The hours are 9:30 – 5:30, but I decided to come at 9:00 just to make sure I wasn’t the last person to arrive. I’m feeling very neurotic about how the Japanese will perceive me. I am the first to arrive (small victories!)

Yesterday (Sunday) was a really nice day. It was cooler than it’s been so I decided to venture back out. I went back to Ginza because I wanted to use the ATM and also because it’s the only place I know how to get to. I was worried that I didn’t have enough gifts for the office because my UPS boxes haven’t arrived. I found a cute shop that sells very pretty notebooks and provides free gift wrap (score!) so I stocked up.(Picture of a cute house in my neighborhood).



I visited one of the department stores (depato) that has a big food court on the ground floor. They sell everything from pre-made salads and sushi platters to whole fish, meats, and chocolates. When you walk into a Japanese store or restaurant, the workers call out “Irashemase!” (welcome!). At this store, there we so many of them that it sounded like a dissonant orchestra. Alarming, but cool.

Last night it started to rain, biblically, and it hasn’t stopped. Luckily, I only have a 5 minute walk from the apartment to the office. My jacket and shoes were soaked (I need my WelChol umbrella! Damn you, UPS!) but for now my tiny travel one will have to do.


LATER— 10:00 PM
I feel more relieved because it turns out that this office operates just like RCW… organized chaos! Once people started to arrive it became clear that the agenda for the day was already shot. They were preparing for a major client presentation (in English) and were running around like crazy. I spoke to the President and he was very pleasant. I tried out a few more phrases on him (that I’d STUDIED over the weekend). “ohayo gozaimasu” (good morning!) and “ii ana otenki desu, ne?” (bad weather today, isn’t it?). He was mildly pleased, but not impressed. But he was very nice to me in the conversation and just asked that I speak slowly and be patient. Clearly, not my strong suits. (The Pres is here on the right with the other Pres, confusing, isn't it?).




I was able to help out a little today by proofreading the English presentation. Afterward I met with my supervisor (a Management Supervisor) and one of the account executives. They haven’t actually hired an interpreter for me. They are making AE do it in addition to his other jobs (typical overextended account person!) This guy went to college in western Illinois, so his English is really good. The poor guy has been following me around all day. (He's the frazzled looking one in the attached picture).



The Management Supervisor seems very smart and he is very elegant. Very much an advertising person. But he’s not comfortable speaking English, so we haven’t spoken directly very much. We went to lunch for sushi and udon (broad flat noodles). BLISS! My first real meal in days! Oishii katta! (It was delicious!)

Lots of meetings and introductions. By 5:30 PM I am exhausted. Minori-san took me to a small shop to buy things for the apartment to help organize my stuff. It was like a dollar store. Actually more like a “ten dollar” store.

Later, I almost burned down the apartment building. I tried to cook dinner for myself, using a frozen skillet-type dinner. I definitely misread the instructions (which, in case you haven’t guessed, were all in Japanese.) There was a lot of smoke and a bad smell. I ate it anyway as a lesson knowing my strengths and weaknesses. I think it may be time to resurrect the “Colleen Can’t Cook” show.

The Ginza

As expected, I slept like a dead person last night. I decided to find a Citibank to see if my ATM card would work there. I had to take the metro to the Ginza district to find the closest bank branch. It was a little far to go for an ATM, but it was an excuse to start getting used to the subways here. It wasn’t too difficult; I did have to ask for directions which forced me to speak with actual Japanese people. Once I found the ATM I felt more relaxed and although having to commute 15 minutes to the ATM isn’t a great long-term solution, it’ll do for today.

I spent the day wandering around the Ginza district which is kind of like our Fifth Avenue in NYC. Lots of expensive shops and fashionable Japanese women. It seems that the big look these days is jeans (cropped or regular), high heels, and shiny bag—hair and makeup done, cell phones blazing. I admit that I took a quick turn around THE GAP. It’s amazing how seeing that familiar blue sign made me feel. It was like an oasis. I almost broke into a run. (By the way, there's a sale going on at Barney's. I still can't afford to shop there.)

Sticker shock alert: a pair of GAP “Long & Lean” women’s jeans was 9,800 yen (or roughly $98.00, almost 2 times as much as in US).

Sticker shock, take two: there was a high-end fruit store that was selling individually wrapped fruit (apples, melon, bananas, etc) at huge prices. A cantaloupe (or “musk melon”) was about $200. A box of cherry tomatoes was $157! They were good looking tomatoes, but really…