Sunday, September 25 (3AM)
As mentioned previously, the flat comes equipped with an extraordinary inconvenient burglar alarm. I’ve been instructed that I must set the alarm each time I leave the apartment.
The process is this:
- go to kitchen pantry
- locate alarm panel
- key in complicated series of numbers
- panic when alarm begins shrieking and display begins counting down
- wonder if you’ve inadvertently enabled the A-Bomb
- decide to leave anyway – race to the front door
- wait outside the door of the flat to make sure alarm eventually stops wailing
- realize that you’ve left something in the flat
- re-enter flat, set off alarm again
- go back to pantry, the display is counting down again and lights are flashing
- frantically search for the other code that turns the alarm off
- disable alarm, forget why you are back in the flat
- begin process again and repeat until the immigration officers arrive
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